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Last updated: September 21, 2022 by Crystal Uys
If you’re struggling to bond with a new cat, you’re not alone. As cat lovers, we’ve all been there. Cats have a very different form of communication from human communication. These differences can make bonding a difficult experience for both cats and humans.
Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help build a strong bond with your cat. Finding the right combination can help your cat trust you and want to be with you. It will take some trial and error and a lot of patience, but it’s totally possible to form and strengthen your bond with your cat. Here are some things I found that can help you make that connection.
The 10 best ways to bond with your cat:
1. Learn more about cat behavior
One of my favorite ways to bond with your cat is to understand their general behavior. Cats don’t communicate like humans, so learning to tune in to their body language clues to understand how we feel.
For example, a happy, confident cat will often look relaxed, have half-closed eyes, and let their guard down. On the other hand, a fearful cat will have ears flat against its head and dilated pupils. It will also have an arched back and a raised tail.
When you learn to accurately read your cat’s behavior, you can make more appropriate decisions about how to interact with him. If he seems relaxed, then petting your cat is appropriate. If your cat seems tense, you’ll want to figure out what makes him suspicious.
2. Stick to a routine
Most cats go enjoy a routine, especially if they are particularly anxious. Thus, if you develop a general routine, you will create a safe and comfortable environment for your cat.
An easy way to create a routine for your cat is to develop a consistent morning routine for yourself. Although you don’t have to follow a strict schedule, you can try to complete the tasks in the same order. Your cat will eventually understand the routine and react accordingly.
3. Give your cat space
Cats enjoy the company of their humans, but they can also enjoy time spent alone. Therefore, understanding her body language is helpful in determining whether your cat wants to participate in a play session or whether she prefers to be alone.
If a cat has flattened ears and dilated pupils and its tail twitches or wags, this signals that it is feeling restless. It is best if you step back and give this cat plenty of space.
4. Let your cat approach you first
It’s understandable to want to get involved with a new kitten or cat as soon as you bring them home. However, in my experience, cats will need time to adapt and become familiar with new environments.
So, in addition to giving cats space, make sure you also give them time to feel comfortable enough to approach you. Approaching a frightened or agitated cat will only make it more dangerous. Allowing him time to get used to his surroundings can actually speed up the bonding process. Leaving your cat alone will help him determine that you are a safe presence in his life.
5. Hand treats
Food alone will not establish a strong bond between you and your cat. However, it certainly pays to experiment and figure out what types of treats your cat prefers.
Hand treats can help cats bond with you, especially if they’re very food-motivated. If you know your cat’s favorite treat, try giving the treat only by hand. This will further reinforce a positive association your cat has created with you.
6. Find out your cat’s favorite toy
Not all cats have the same preferences, so they will all have different types of toys that they like. Some cats will like magic wands, while others prefer stuffed toys or treat puzzles.
You can determine which toys your cat prefers by observing which ones she plays with most often and most actively. Once you find out which toys are his favorites, you can be the one to introduce them to your cat whenever he wants to play.
7. Talk to your cat
Talking to your cat is a great way to bond over distance. Although cats don’t literally understand what you say, they can understand and be affected by your tone. So, if you have a scared and watchful cat, you can try talking to him in a soft, calm voice.
Acting and speaking with calm and stability can help your cat better anticipate your movements and see you as a safe, non-threatening person.
8. Pet your cat
If you’ve already established some kind of bond with your cat, you can move on to petting it. I have noticed that cats prefer to be stroked along the back. They will also love the scratches around the ears and under the chin.
Cats have very sensitive paws and whiskers, so it’s best to avoid touching these areas. Some cats don’t like having their tails touched either.
Most cats will make it clear what types of pets they like. So be sure to pay attention, and you’ll soon discover your cat’s favorite petting spots.
9. Brush your cat
Cats spend a lot of time grooming themselves and most will appreciate a helping hand. They tend to like being brushedso brushing his coat can help you bond with your cat while keeping him clean.
Just be sure to be slow and gentle when brushing your cat. Start by brushing his back. As your cat gets used to being brushed, you can move on to brushing more sensitive areas, such as the underside.
After brushing your cat, you can give her a treat to make grooming an even more positive experience.
10. Know your cat’s personality
Although cats constantly display certain behaviors, it’s important to remember that they all have unique personalities and preferences. So, one of the best ways to bond with your cat is to understand how he’s trying to bond with you.
Some cats will enjoy being petted and following their humans around, while independent cats may prefer to be in the same room as you but not interact as much. Other cats may be very loud and want to have conversations with you.
Once you get to know your cat, you’ll be able to understand the obvious and subtle ways in which he tries to bond with you.
Conclusion
Ultimately, I’ve found that a big part of bonding with your cat means understanding cat behavior and getting to know your cat’s individual personality. Much like how humans bond as they understand each other better, you will also develop a special bond with your cat as you come to understand them.
So take the time to get to know your cat, and if you’re having trouble, you can always seek help from a cat behaviorist. It may take some time to learn how to bond with your cat, but believe me, it will definitely be worth it!
Featured Image Credit: Alena Ozerova, Shutterstock
Ivy’s mom cat – a feisty little rescue kitten who is her one and only child. For the moment! Throughout her life, she was introduced to the special love that can be found in bonding with a cat. Having owned several felines, she is more than certain that their love is unmatched, unconditional and unlike any other. With a passion for educating the public on all there is to know about felines, their behavior and their unique personalities, Crystal is dedicated to ensuring that all cats and their owners know the importance of living mindfully – and to love!
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