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Let me start with a story, the one I relayed in Bark Magazine in 2005:
When I was taping Animal Planet Petline, a vet-turned-sales rep asked to borrow Cool Hand Luke for a dental care demonstration. Luke and I had just finished a segment about how dogs don’t like to be petted on the top of the head, and had drawn the audience’s attention to Luke’s look of disgust when we did it to him. Sure enough, after opening Luke’s mouth a few times (like she was cleaning clams), the woman said “Thank you, Luke” and gave him three bouncing pats on the top of his head. We had to stop recording because the film crew was laughing so hard they couldn’t keep filming.
Fact is, people love to tap, pat, pat dogs on the top of the head, and most dogs hate it, hate it, hate it, or at best tolerate it. (Of course, as always, there are exceptions, as anyone with a stereotypical Golden Retriever knows.)
Beyond the teaching that the head pats are NOT positive reinforcement for 98% of the dogs in the world – which EVERY dog training class should include – we can use this knowledge to our advantage. Do you have a dog that sits at your feet and asks you to keep petting it, no matter how long it’s been going on? Just try what my sister, Liza, (who came to watch the Petline taping), and who I now call “happy slappies”. You simply intentionally pat the dog on the top of its head, three to four times, and say “Enough.” During the first training, I include bending the arms and turning the head away.
Here’s a video of me illustrating it with Maggie; I’ve included all the cues I use at the start to be clear, but all I have to do now is quietly say “Enough” to Skip and Maggie, and they’ll go to bed.
Does it work first time every timee on each dog? Let’s all burst out laughing at this fantasy. If only. But it’s incredibly easy to teach, dogs pick it up very quickly. Here’s what I think makes it work so well: First, dogs really don’t like being patted on the head, just like kids don’t like it either. (Me neither. Ask someone to do it for you and think how much you enjoyed it.) But, unless you get carried away (please don’t), it does not scare dogs or intimidate them. Second, turning the head away is an ethologically relevant signal for dogs. Dogs address other dogs to signal “I’m done interacting with you now.” It makes for a clear and salient signal, much like saying “Well, sorry, I have to go” to a friend.
So often we humans make the mistake to do the opposite. We look directly at our dogs and say “go away” or “enough”, and the dog stares at us, just sure that our gaze is an invitation to keep pushing his head into our lap to remind us to keep going. caress us. I should add that I don’t know if there is an effect to withdrawing your weapons, but it looks like it could be seen as another withdrawal signal.
Here’s what you need to do Getting Started: Wait for a time when your dog is craving attention and you’d like him to rest. Slowly (don’t startle), move your hand over the dog’s head and pat pat pat three to four times. Then, remove your hand, cross your arms and look away. MANY DOGS WILL IGNORE this the first time! Expect that. After all, how long did they manage to get more attention when you’re done petting them? Because really, you weren’t done, were you? You said “That’s enough”, then you gave in and stroked them some more, right? (I’m only speaking theoretically, of course.) So, first, only do this when you’re really done a bit. If/when your dog ignores you and keeps begging for pets/treats/another ball toss, just repeat as described. If the dog is super insistent, I’ve tried standing and it worked fine.
Usually the third time is the charm, if you even need to do the same. Pretty soon, most dogs will walk away right after hearing “Enough is enough.” (If you’ve been using this word for years and your dog has learned it means “just try harder,” then pick another word!)
I started using it when Tulip, our dear Great Pyrenees, kept tapping its massive paw on the knees of our visitors. They would say, “Oh, I don’t mind” when I told them to just say “Enough,” but they never did. After 30-45 minutes of “I don’t mind,” their smiles froze and you could tell they REALLY DID it. So, I added in the pats on the head, those that people too often do to dogs, and my visitors understood it immediately. Just another example of thinking about natural behavior at both ends of the leash! So ! (Or, as I once wrote to Karen London while we were working on another of our co-authored books, Viola!)
What do you think? How do you gently and effectively discourage begging for more treats, petting, or play? Have you ever tried what I’m describing? Got a video of teaching it to a dog for the first time – it was awesome! And, I can’t find it. Sigh. It included a super pushy young Border Collie who got it on the third try. Maybe he left to be petted by someone else, I don’t remember. But it’s quite common if you have company. Bo Peep used to work the crowd, one at a time, then finally lay down after trying every possible option.)
MEANWHILE, back at the farm: After two months of almost no rain, it rained, hailed and blew like a banshee, all during a three-day sheepdog trial. The kind in which I wonder what happens to me for having chosen to spend two days like this. . .
. . . instead of lounging on a comfy couch snuggled up with Jim and the dogs. Skip ran twice, ran waaaay too wide on his first run and ran out of time on the ride. Its slow, careful lifting, appropriate perhaps for herding deer, took forever. I call it the ETERNAL LIFT, even though it sounds like a skin cream I should be using.
He corrected it on his second run, do a wonderful overtake, a perfect lift (yes!) and go for, but I stalled on the drive. The sheep were extremely difficult to get going in the right direction on the first leg of the ride, although there were certainly multiple teams that managed it. (And more who didn’t.) Skip got stuck under pressure and did NOT walk straight to them when I needed to. I did my best to encourage him but eventually left the job to help him because he clearly needed it.
On Sundays, Skip and Maggie got to work placing sheep for the Novice class. Most of the time it’s easy work, but there are enough times when the sheep challenge you to keep a dog on their toes. The three of us had a great time; Skip made up for it on Saturday by masterfully handling a lamb that refused to budge and bumped into him, two inches from his face. Skip took a breathless breath of air and stared at her, keeping his composure but not flinching. It was elegant work and it made my heart gooey for a while. And no rain on Sunday! What luxury.
I took pictures last week when working the dogs at home. Here’s Skip after getting out of the water tank, making it clear that he’s ready to work again.
And here’s Skip saying “Are you gonna drop this thing and go back to working with me or what?”
The sunset colors were amazing last week at the farm. You’d think I went crazy with the color editing, but honestly, it’s very close to what it looked like. It was surreal.
Although I am appalled to Christmas commercials already, I admit to having started part of my holiday cooking last week. I make homemade ketchup every year, as part of a goodie bag Jim and I made for friends; here is the first batch of ketchup in these cool bottles i found. The hardest part of making ketchup is putting it in the bottles; the kitchen looks like a scene from a horror movie by the time i’m done.
I would say “Happy Slappies” to all of you, except, wait, I don’t want you to leave! Writing this blog takes a long time, and friends often ask me why I don’t stop. Answer: Because of you. Seriously. I love this international community which has been growing and evolving since 2008. (Fourteen years, oh my!). I love reading your comments, learning from them, and hearing about your dogs, some of whom feel like old friends. So join the party and let us know how you deal with dogs that insist on getting attention; we promise not to slam our muddy paws into your lap when you’re ready to do something else.
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