How resilient are you? Here’s what we can learn from our puppies
Today I can’t wait to share something with you, and at the same time I’m afraid I’ll end up sounding like an old man talking about “the good old days.”
But I have to accept that I can’t please everyone because whenever I write something a little more impactful, a few friends always ask me if I’m writing about them. Frankly, I don’t have anyone in particular in mind, but it can affect all of us when I think about it.
Do you find that the easier life is for people, the more they seem to complain?
One of the drivers of progress is our desire for security, comfort, and physical and emotional well-being; all of these things come under the “umbrella of happiness”. So it makes sense that we want a good life — why not us?
But when life is too easy, we get used to it very quickly and become less resilient, which makes us uncomfortable when we encounter minor problems and challenges. In a way, comfort and having an easy life creates the emotional equivalent of someone losing their physical shape by spending most of their time on a couch watching TV.
We all understand that exercise, training, and certain discomforts make us physically fit or that swimming in cold water and using a sauna helps us become more resistant to heat and cold.
Mental and emotional comfort is similar. When we are not challenged enough, we lose the ability to resist, which happens in the developed world. At least one to two generations have had unprecedented levels of comfort. Unfortunately, some parents have lost their way in sheltering their children and preventing them from experiencing the hardships of life.
This is the equivalent of protecting them from physical exercise.
Everyone should be praised and recognized when they do a great job, but many children are told they did a great job, even when it’s not true. They always get what they want and they are not taught to appreciate others when they do something for them. Giving seems like a one-way street; gratitude is exchanged for a right.
But then they land in the real world. The shock often breaks them mentally and emotionally as they haven’t practiced “life” enough growing up. As a result, they find it difficult to adapt to the changing conditions of life and they suffer. The suffering is real, resulting in a growing mental health crisis, addiction and unhappiness.
Many children haven’t learned that they have to be adaptable to be happy. In the sauna we expose our bodies to extreme heat followed by freezing water or snow, and in life we have to train ourselves to tolerate uncomfortable events and become more resilient.
If someone doesn’t like the air conditioning, maybe it’s better to try to get used to it than to make everyone uncomfortable.
Instead of complaining, we need to find proactive solutions.
We may not always succeed, but at least we tried.
When we’re stuck in traffic, it’s a great opportunity to listen to music, audiobooks, and podcasts and learn to be awesome instead of being upset about something beyond our control.
I often hear people say that many successful people have had a smoother start, but that’s often not true. For example, children in trust funds generally struggle to find a good rhythm in life, and people from poverty are very successful.
I agree that some people have been unlucky or that trauma and mental illness have put them at a disadvantage. But most of us must strive to be stronger and fitter both physically and mentally, and mental and emotional fitness does not come from living a perfectly protected life.
We must keep trying, and as our adaptability increases, other like-minded people will be drawn to us. We will have great jobs that we love and others will enjoy spending time with us. Being adaptable is a gift we give to others; it is an act of generosity.
Of course, I will not pass up an opportunity to make a dog/human comparison.
We love dogs because they are masters in adaptability and tolerance, so maybe we should strive to be like them.
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